Understanding What You Want and Building Yourself Up to Get It.
Insights from a Candid Family Conversation on Love, Life, and Finding the "Right One".
“In a humble state, you learn better”.
-Unknown.
Dear,
Family group calls. You love or hate them, but (sometimes) we can’t get around them. I was driving home from the gym when a notification popped up on my phone.
*Incoming Video Call…
I didn’t know what to expect because, for the most part, I miss the calls.
Being from a family which is predominantly women with strong opinions is interesting, to say the least. In this call, they talked about love, traveling, sex, money, relationships, and MUCH more.
Six people were on this call.
Two of them are married, two of them have kids, one is single in her thirties, and the other just got out of a two-year relationship.
And one of the most interesting parts of the whole conversation was on LOVE. What do women want? What do men want? and the conversation started to get deeper and deeper. Promiscuity? No connection during sex? And my mind started to race on all their comments about their past relationships struggles to find a decent partner, their current dating life, marriage, and reviewing past decisions regarding love.
All interesting to me because I don’t have the best “game” in the love area of my life. To be honest, I have no game, zero. I am a bit awkward in that sense... these things cross my mind as of any 20-year-old, but there are bigger issues (personally) than affectionate love right now.
All in due time…
My phone died mid-conversation, and I didn’t charge it immediately and I was out of the entertaining yet intriguing family video call.
One thing I can say for a fact is that women for the most part think they know what they want, but they don’t, or at least that’s what I perceived.
Is it more money? Is it a partner who you can build a life with? Good sexual chemistry? Or is it someone that makes you feel seen and understood? All of the above?
I had an idea about love, and now I have many. From the point of view of women is hard to understand their wants and needs. It’s tricky.
But you know what? I learned a few things, some things that maybe I can apply and prove their effects. A hypothesis I can build.
We all want connection, we crave it. But individually men or women we don’t know how to truly connect. We were never taught how.
Your mission is to connect with yourself, improve on your weaknesses and build them up again from scratch if necessary. Because the love you receive is the direct reflection of who you are right now. If you want more confident, fitter, richer, more successful, independent, and smarter qualities in the other person make sure to embody a few of them first.
Inevitably you will:
raise your standards
get clear on what is it that you want
and most importantly, be clear on what you don’t
And that is the challenge most people don’t want to take.
Improving themselves.
Don’t be like those people.
You are capable of much more. But first, try to embody who you want to be to find the people that align with that version of yourself.
It’s funny because when you focus on improving yourself and give your best effort; God takes care of the rest.
It’s a matter of committing to yourself first, to your vision, and asses who can join.
The ideal situation (to me) is two people healing themselves, not each other.
A support system to navigate the wild tide of life.
Its time.
Time to go.
much love,
J.